Reluctant to face a phone menu, I e-mailed to ask. And soon the answer came back:
Thank you for contacting Restoration Hardware. My name is Angela, and I will be happy to assist you with your inquiry regarding our [semi-affordable line of furniture]. I can confirm that these items have a hand applied patina.Well, thank you, Angela, or "Angela," but ... a patina of what? Varnish, polyurethane, shellac, earwax, olive oil, Love Potion No. 9? I tried again, and today another reply arrived:
Thank you for contacting [blah blah etc.] … I can confirm that we do not have the information regarding the finish readily available.
I have submitted Product Information Request #156221 on your behalf. Please allow me 1-2 business days to update you on the status of this request.Yeah, I should just phone the local store (surely they're trusted with this information?), but now I'm hooked; I want to know how many more layers of bureaucracy are defending the Secret of the Invisible Wood Finish from the scrutiny of potential customers.